Traits of a Healthy Mother and Daughter Relationship

This  Sunday, we will be celebrating Mother’s Day.  I am so blessed that I can still celebrate this day with my mother.  I feel like I won the lottery in life having this woman as my mother. Her kindness, sense of humor, and integrity were passed on to me. These traits were passed down from her mother. Just as her mother was her best friend, my mother is mine. We have always had a healthy mother and daughter relationship.

Traits of a Healthy Mother and Daughter Relationship

I credit my confidence and strong self of self-worth because of the healthy relationship I have with my mother.

In truth, it was how she raised me and how she perfected the art of parenting.  It is an art when you find the right balance of love, teaching, and nurturing your children to become successful, happy individuals. Some mothers succeed in this skill, and some fail miserably with their children. I am a lucky one.

The best mother and daughter relationships are more reciprocal. That means your mom doesn’t make the relationship all about her nor do you.

Read this article about enmeshed mother and daughter relationships.

Mothers and Daughters Are Best Friends

Mothers and daughters can be best friends. This is the type of relationship where mothers and daughters are extremely close, constantly communicate, and spend a lot of time together.

Being best friends takes commitment, trust, and resolving conflicts positively. Just like a healthy marriage.

My mother has always been my best friend, even when I was growing up. Yes, she still disciplined me when I broke the rules but she loved me unconditionally. She is my mother first, best friend second.

We have had our disagreements but resolved them quickly. Respect and trust play a large part in our relationship.

We love spending time together and talking on the phone almost every day. As mom has gotten older, I make sure I travel to see her now. Unfortunately, she doesn’t like to fly as much as she used to. Spending time with my mother on Mother’s Day has always been a tradition between us. It was so special celebrating Mother’s Day with her. Now I fly up to see her in Minnesota when I can. I cherish my time with her.

They Don’t try to Change  Each other into Different Versions of Themselves.

I  am so thankful she allowed me to be me, actually the best possible me, because she gave me confidence early on in my life to make my own decisions without criticizing or demeaning me. She allowed me to fall down, get back up, and try again because she waited on the sidelines with unconditional love. She cheered me on when I did something extraordinary and waited on the sidelines with hugs and kisses when I screwed up.

Yes, I could have had a mother who tried to control me or hovered over me in a smothering way, never allowing me to fail. Managing my life or protecting me from failure would have banished my courage and self-confidence to overcome failure and experience things that may have been uncomfortable for me.

Or worse, an unloving dismissive mother who ignored me or distanced herself when I sought approval on something I thought was meaningful to me. I have never been pushed away or left wondering what I did do to deserve her disapproval.

I have a mother who taught me through endless expressions of love and devotion to believe in myself and create my path.

“How did I get such a wonderful daughter?” is a common phrase she says to me when writing (underlined three times to emphasize her words) a card or verbally saying it to me.

So when she wonders how did she get such a wonderful daughter, it’s because I have such a wonderful mom.

Forming a Healthy Relationship with Your Daughter

Since a healthy relationship with your mom can help lead to a healthy relationship with your daughter, there’s probably no time like the present to fix what might be broken. If you’ve been at odds with your mother or your daughter, thankfully you have today to reconnect and start forging a stronger connection.

My oldest daughter Lisa shared this photo and quote with me when she was going through a difficult time.  It made me smile to see that perhaps I have given her the strength and courage to be the best person she can possibly be.

I hope you had a healthy relationship with your mother. Having a healthy mother and daughter relationship plays an extremely important role in our self-esteem, sense of who we are, and our ability to cope with our feelings.

I am sending love to those of you who have lost your mother and won’t be celebrating Mother’s Day with her.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thanks for stopping by!