Coming To Terms with Aging
“Aging is out of your control.
How you handle it, though, is in your hands.” – Diane von Furstenberg
On Sunday night while working through 3 days of Instagram posts of the women I follow, I stumbled upon a post from a woman I enjoy following. She was talking about the aging wars. You know the kind, of other women trashing women of the same age about how they are aging. Why can’t the sisterhood stop shaming and acknowledge that each one of us is entitled to age on our own terms?
Growing old and how we approach our own aging is in our hands and I do not need the sisterhood of the Traveling Spanx telling me I’m doing it wrong. Maybe they’re doing it all wrong?
It’s bad enough when I came across “Coming to terms with losing your looks” as a top search on Google! Then I saw all the articles about coping with the loss of your looks as you get older. Lots of them!!
Coming to Terms with Aging
I read an article, “ The awful day we knew we’d lost our looks: It’s the moment all women dread.”
and thought to myself, thank God I’m 66 reading this article about women younger than myself who dislikes the aging process. Heaven forbid I would be 40ish reading this!
What a terrible phrase that is! What looks did I lose? Youth? We all lose youth when we add another year to our age. What year do we start to lose our looks? 25? 35? 45? 55? 65?
Our looks change every year based on so many different criteria. Are you having children, did you have a health issue, were you an athlete, or did you just like being you? Do you prefer to freeze in time and never age? That is your option if you can afford it.
I do not look like I did at 26 (below photo) when I was a flight attendant with a skinny body.
I have had the same man, by my side for over 36 years and we have gone through our changes I don’t feel we “lost our looks” because of growing older.
30ish
40ish
50ish
60ish
I have always tried to make myself happy with my “looks” in every decade and I did it for me.
S don’t follow guidelines or suggestions (even snarky ones) on how I should look at a certain age, that’s up to me.
I exercise to live a healthier life. I do it for my heart and I do it to keep wearing the same size year after year. I hate going up in a dress size because I spend a lot of money on clothes. I still have gained weight because I love to eat like a truck driver, and I enjoy my wine. That’s on me, but as my doctor said to me recently, when I was complaining about my weight gain after menopause, “Do what makes you happy.” I am, but I need to eat on a smaller plate.
My hair is blonde because I like it that way and I will not go completely grey just because the silver sisters think we all need to be carrying the gray pride flag.
I wear ponytail extensions to add volume to my thinning ponytail. Oprah wears extensions and if it’s good enough for her, it’s good enough for me.
When I started to see my eyelashes thinning, I decided on eyelash extensions in 2019. You would be surprised at how many women over 50 wear false eyelashes again. I wore false eyelashes in my 20s as a flight attendant and they are popular again for all ages.
I see myself every day in the mirror and know the wrinkles on my face have gotten deeper and there are more of them ( they became more noticeable when I was in my late 50s. ) I have tried Botox but I’m against plastic surgery, but I think about it now and then. I know I will look younger if my skin is plumped up or pulled back, but I’m okay for now. I see women who have had work done and I know they did it to make themselves happy or to feel better about matching the outside age to the inside age. I still feel young, but that’s because I don’t feel old.
I am over the halfway mark of my life, have been for years and I want to enjoy every moment, wear what I want, and look the way I want without someone telling me I’m not doing it right or I’m not being authentic with my age.
I should be allowed to age on my terms and so should you dear friends.
As always I thank you for stopping!
How do you feel about aging?
Are YOU aging on YOUR TERMS?
I would love to hear from you!
Hugs,
You always look fabulous! I’m 65 and fighting Father Time with exercise and some maintenance like laser, fillers and Botox. I realize you need to use those things sparingly. The best treatment I did was Erbium laser (very deep) and an upper bleph for my eyes. It took years off my face. But, I do know it’s temporary.
Good for you April!
I believe we should all do what we feel is best for us. I have had botox and need to try laser therapy..
Do you find you get good results with laser?
Guess what? I have seen your photos and you look lovely at every age! Enjoy your life and please do not listen to anyone else about your appearance. By the way, God loves you and that is really all that matters.
Thank you Judy!
I am trying to live my life the best way I know how!
XXOOXX
Love reading this post Robin. Isn’t it the truth/ We don’t lose our looks, they just change over time. I love the message here, and for me, it is about being comfortable and happy in my own skin, no matter the age.
Have a wonderful weekend my friend!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Jessica,
Thank you sweet friend for your comments today.
Yes, we’re evolving every year and we need to be happy with ourselves at every age and not worry what others think!
Hugs,
Robin
I LOVE this post! I had no idea there was that much negativity online and think it is sad that society makes us feel these things as we age. I think women are beautiful at all ages and stages. Our beauty just deepens and is more meaningful. I never once remember looking at my grandmothers and thinking anything other than that they were beautiful. I didn’t see lines or flaws. I saw love and kindness and wisdom and true beauty. And as for makeup, hair color and other things we do to look fabulous? For me it is all fun! Leaning into life and experimenting! That’s all good. So let the negative people age negatively and we will walk our own path of positivity and hopefully it will change how society sees us who have traveled farther down the road. They will want to follow!
Cheryl
http://www.northwestmountainliving.com
Cheryl,
Thank you for your lovely comments my friend.
I am always shocked when women receive troll comments about their looks and pass judgment as voices of authority.
When I say I am 61, I do not expect other women to judge my 61 against their 61. We are who we want to be at any age!
Hugs,
Robin
Robin you have written the post I was about to.write. Mine is going out next Wed, so I will put a link to your post if that is ok with you…fabulous my friend!
Hilda I would be honored if you link to me my friend!
I can’t wait to read your blog post too!
Hugs,
Robin
I shared your post during the week on my over the hilda page and linked it to my post..
You are an excellent writer, I love your blog, your style and your confidence and I couldn’t agree more. And I am so sad that anyone would think that there is a time in life that you become unattractive. Thank you for this powerful voice of truth.
Amy,
I am so grateful you stopped by today to comment!
I appreciate your kind words and the fact we are connected by our facebook group.
I think a lot of women are judged for whatever reason, because they are openly and honestly being themselves on social media, but the negativity comes from all ages.
We’re told how we should look at our age by others who don’t look like us.
We’re too old to wear this, we’re too old to wear that. You should embrace your age and your wrinkles. You should embrace your grey hair . Blah blah blah….
I think we should just embrace who we are and be happy that others are walking to a different beat.
Hugs,
Robin
Great post, thank you Robin. It came at the right time for me. Being in the middle of menopause, I see my body changing but my dress sense remains the same than five or ten years ago with a bit of a twitch here and there to feel comfortable and beautiful. Fashion, beauty, lifestyle belong to everyone, and ageing doesn’t to be grey and tasteless. When I see my auntie getting ready to go to church, I feel lifted: she takes proud to wear beautiful and colourful clothes, bag and hat with a touch of perfume and don’t ever tell her she’s old….she’s only 90!!!
Diana,
Yes, menopause can be a surprise with all the changes we go through, but it shouldn’t be a time where a woman feels like she has lost her looks.
I think we change just like the seasons every year. We can begin again with new beginnings in spring or stay dormant in the winter of our lives.
We choose our journeys. I think you are choosing well my dear friend!
Hugs,
Robin
How wonderful to see how you are embellishing with the passage of time …
Josep- Maria,
Thank you for your kind words.
Regards,
Robin